Ben’s Terrifying Spanish Exam!
Yesterday I (Ben) had to take our car for the annual Inspección Técnica de Vehículos (ITV – a bit like the British MOT), where they check the brakes, lights, chasis, seat belts etc are all road-worthy.
It’s a job I dread, mostly because it’s one of the last bastions of ‘really difficult real-life Spanish’ that I still feel very nervous about!
If I fail to get the Spanish instructions right as I take the car through the test, then maybe the car won’t get ‘passed’ at the end, and that means big car headaches just before we take it on holiday!
Things didn’t go well from the moment I arrived.
There were two queues, one for turismos de gasolina (petrol engines) and one for turismos de diesel (diesel vehicles) – and I only discovered I was in the wrong queue after I’d been lined up for an hour already in the 36ºC sun!
If I tried to jump over to the other lane for the right queue, I was going to get in big trouble with everyone in that queue – the Spanish really hate people that push in!
So I went to the pay desk and was told to find la chica de seguridad con el chaleco amarillo – the security girl with the yellow jacket.
She was nowhere to be seen. I fretted and sweated in the sun for 10 minutes until finally she appeared, and I explained my predicament.
“Mira yo aviso a todo el mundo cuando llegan,” – I tell everyone when they arrive – she said (not true! she was nowhere to be seen when I got there), “tendrás que hablar con alguien a ver si te dejan cambiarte,” you’ll have to speak so someone to see if they let you change lane.
A gap appeared in front of a car in the other lane as someone else moved forwards, and I asked the driver behind the gap if I could cross over and get in front of him.
No, he said, “te toca dar la vuelta y hacer la cola desde el principio otra vez,” – you’ll have to turn round and start the queue from the beginning again.
Which would mean losing the whole hour I’d been in the wrong queue! There were already about 20 new cars behind us in both lanes!
I tried a friendly looking woman in a Smart car a few cars back in the other lane, “perdona, es que me he equivocado de cola y tengo que cambiarme a este carril,” – Excuse me, I got the wrong queue and I have to change to this lane…”
“Vale,” – OK – she said, “¡Muy amable!” I replied, totally relieved! Whenever you want a favour in Spanish, it really pays to start with “Perdona, es que…”
Finally I got to the head of the queue, and the terrifying exam started!
It works like this: you sit in your car, and the ITV technician barks orders at you as he walks around the car checking everything works.
The vocabulary is highly test/car-specific, the noise in the warehouse is unbearable, and it’s almost impossible to hear what he’s saying!
As I said, I’m terrified that if I misunderstand his instructions, the car will fail and my 2 hour wait in line will have been for nothing!
Here are a few of the orders that came flying at me from all sides as the test progressed:
abre el capo – open the bonnet
luces de posición…. largas – dipped headlights, full beam
antinieblas – fog lights
pisa el freno – step on the brake
quita el freno de mano – release the handbrake
dale un poco de agua – squirt some water…
toca la bocina – sound the horn (I’d never heard the word ‘bocina‘ before, so had to take a guess at that one – lucky I got it right!)
It went on and on like this until finally he sent me on to stage two – even worse!
This involved listening to a guy who was underneath the car, giving me orders via a tiny, hissing loud speaker next to my drivers window:
Darle con el volante de un lado para otro – swing the steering wheel from one side to the other. Etc!
So how did we do?
At last I made it to the end of the test, and got the piece of paper with the crucial test results:
The Car: Resultado de la inspección: Favorable con defecto leve – escobillas defectuosas – The car passed the test, but with a minor infraction, worn out wiper blades…
Ben: Hecho polvo – totally worn out as well! … But I guess I passed the test too!
What’s the hardest ‘real life’ Spanish exam you’ve ever been through?
Related To This Post:
- Ben’s Anatomical Spanish Simultaneous Translation Nightmare!
- Make sure you’re ready for these real life Spanish situations! Keep listening to our real-life Spanish conversations and jump to the next level materials in our store!
Posted in: Spanish | Comments: 35
Comments:
Comment from Ben
That’s a good idea Anna – I think maybe I’m too proud to admit that in tests like this they should still go easy on me after all this time!
Comment from Mike
Hola Ben,
Tu cuenta es muy útil para mi porque mi hermano esta enfermo y el mes que viene, cuando esaré en España tengo que llevar su coche para el ITV. Ahora se lo que me espera y ya me pongo nervioso.
Mike
Comment from Andy
I found being an idiot worked well. Eventually an old spanish guy who must have been 120 years old at least got into the car & drove it through the testing for me. It passed & after many “Muchas gracias” & Muy Bien”, the old guy was standing outside the bar (Only in Spain can they have a MOT testing station which has a bar), looking sorry for himself, but “una cana” brightened his day considerably.
Comment from Dave
Hello Ben I read your desciption of the trip to the itv with interest. Having lived in Spain for 7 years now I have had some experience of this ordeal and agree with you regarding the orders shouted at you by the operator – I always seem to hear words I’ve never come across before. My worst experience was when I took my motocycle for the first time. Although an old Honda 550 cc it was in pretty good nick and I had bought it a year earlier with new itv and new tyres. I seemed to sail through the test session but had to wait ages for my certificate at the end. There was much consternation and looking at computer screens and I was told that it had failed due to incorrect size of tyres. I tried to reason but to no avail. Finally as he handed me the ‘fail’ paper I thought I’d be really Spanish and throw my arms in the air saying ‘ Es loco !’
Did me no good as he grabbed my ‘ Tarjeta de Inspeccion Tecnica de Vehiculos’ and forcefully stamped it ‘ Desfavorable’
Comment from la vieja de la manga
Commiserations, I hate it too, especially the bit when the wheels are in a dip on rollers and you get sloshed from one side to the other 
I tend to go around 2pm when there’s no queue which is marginally less stressful.
But my biggest ‘exam’ is taking the husband to the doctor/hospital – if I get that wrong, well anything can happen!
Comment from Jim
I was a passenger in a Spanish friend’s car in Spain a few years back and she was complaining because the car in front of us had stopped for no reason. I said “Toca la bocina” and she started to ROAR with laughter, explaining to me that bocina meant a child’s toy horn with the rubber bulb that you squeeze. I asked “Entonces, ¿Cómo se dice?” and she said “Toca el claxon”. So if they say bocina at the vehicle inspection station, I’m really confused now. What does Marina say about these two words?
Comment from Sally Goldsmith
The hardest thing initially for me while travelling in Argentina was making hostel reservations on the phone. I had learnt some spanish before I went and had completed a months course in Buenos Aires. However talking to people when you cannot see them face to face was a whole different thing. The first few hostels I wasn’t quite sure what I had reserved – but it got better! I always somehow managed to find somewhere to stay.
Comment from Ben
My goodness, I can’t believe there are so many of you that have also dealt with the dreaded ITV situation! That’s great! I can’t believe there was a test center with a bar… acutally, I can!
Jim – Marina thought Bocina was totally normal, but at the test center I also heard them say claxon, so maybe it’s a regional thing again and in our corner of Madrid both are fine!
Comment from BrianA
I have most trouble with the door answer-phone! Mainly down to its abysmal quality I tell myself. As to the ITV I have a service and pre-ITV check done before taking it in. So far no problems. The garage will also take it through for you (30€ last time they offered)
Comment from Ben
BrianA – I think I would happily have paid 30 euros to have avoided the 2 hour wait in the blazing sun yesterday!
Comment from Tiffany
I consider my Spanish fairly decent, not native, but decent. We recently traveled to the Canary Islands where my daughter took a nasty spill and split her chin open. The hotel where we were staying made the arrangements for us to go to a clinic, but once at the clinic I found myself fumbling for words like: stiches (puntos/suturas), scar (cicatriz), and vaccines (vacunas)… all words I knew, but in the heat of the moment as I was holding my bleeding daughter couldn’t find. All ended well y la doctora nos promete que ella no tendrá una cicatriz 
Comment from Terry
Going to Repertorio Español in New York City, when the theater play we are attending is in Caribbean Spanish, and it is not based on a book I have read before attending!
Comment from Timoteo
Good commentary Ben! My hardest test was coordinating my two schedules in my “colegios” when I worked in a small village in Aragon. Both headmistresses wanted me to teach longer in their respective schools. I had to explain my transportation, where I was living, what classes I preferred to teach, all the while satisfying requirements for other activities I had signed up for. Que nervios! Por lo menos, espanoles son muy amables y flexibles.
Comment from Ariane
Excellent, Ben! This has probably been my most favorite lesson so far even though I don’t even own a car.
So, where are you off to on your vacation?
Comment from Sarah
Brilliant!!! I have now had to do this twice – always with 30+ degree baking sun, and always the day before we leave to go on holiday, so seriously stressful! I always take it for a “revisión” in somewhere like Norauto or Feu Vert, before taking it through, and I always try to go at lunchtime so that it’s quieter, too. (I always find it hard to believe that it has such an “amplio horario” – so unusual here in Spain!). Next time, I will also do my own “revisión” with your vocabulary list!!! I definitely think it helps to be a girl, though, in this type of situation – lower expectations for car vocabulary, if you know what I mean!!!
Anyway, my most terrifying Spanish-speaking experience? Being made to answer the phone, on the scariest-looking switchboard you’ve ever seen, in my second week of my 3-month work placement in a Spanish company. My most used phrase was “¿Me lo podrías deletrear?” (“Could you spell it for me?); mainly for names, but sometimes thrown in just to get them to stop jabbering. I seriously doubt that any of the people who left messages with me ever actually got called back!!! Still, it proved to be a useful “trial by fire”, as my Spanish improved considerably during the work placement – and I ended up staying in the company for 3 years, instead of the original 3 months!!!
Comment from Carla
When in Barcelona a few months ago, I had to ask for directions over an intercom in the train station. They barked out directions that I thought I caught some of, but no (un poco de Catalá?) So I called back, they rattled off directions again. I thought I could evoke sympathy by telling them I was an American and by asking them to speak more slowly. Big mistake, they hung up on me.
Comment from Darryl
I conduct polygraph examinations (lie detector tests) for the government in the sex crimes unit. I went back to school and started studying Spanish 3+ years ago to be able to conduct tests in Spanish. I work in California and we get a variety of clients from all over Central and South America with varying accents and backgrounds. On my first solo test, I quickly learned that regardless of how much I knew how to say in Spanish it was irrelevant if I couldn’t understand what was being said to me. For me, accents are the biggest challenge. If I am around someone or listen to them for a while I can pick up on it… but right out of the box, no way it might as well be Chinese. I remember when I first stated listening to Ben and Marina… very hard but after either or ten podcasts, no problem. My first test was a guy born in Cuba – WOW, I seriously think I was sweating more than he was. I started to wonder if I could really do this or not… still think that from time to time. I remember two other instances where words in one place mean something else in another – take recoger for example… in Spain everyone knows it means to pick something up, in Mexico slang it means to have sex. Wow – you only make than mistake once. In Puerto Rico they refer to naranjas as chinas. However, I think those embarrassing moments that you wonder if you have learned anything in Spanish at all are the times that in retrospect you actually end up learning the most.
Comment from Randy
That was sooooo funny and interesting!
Comment from John
Hi Ben, I’ve done the ITV several times here in Málaga province for my own car and also for friends. At my local ITV station we have to make appointments. They then call out your registration number and tell you which lane to get in. This to me is the worst thing! I always position myself close to the outdoor speaker to hear what is being said. One time I was there, an ambulance was going through the inspection and at the point the operator switched on the mike to call the next car the ambulance switched on its siren for testing!! You can imagine that nobody heard a thing. Luckily they made a repeat call shortly afterwards!!
Comment from Alison
My non-Spanish speaking husband took our car for the ITV a couple of weeks ago. He had no problems but said they found him a technician who spoke a little English and they used a lot of sign language. The car passed and it doesn’t have to be tested for another two years I don’t know if the part of the country you’re in makes a difference-we’re in the Pais Vasco.
Comment from Jim
My friend is from Sevilla. I guess down there they say claxon.
Comment from Bug
‘No, he said, “te toca dar la vuelta y hacer la cola desde el principio otra vez,” – you’ll have to turn round and start the queue from the beginning again.’
I’ve never heard “te toca” used this way before. Is it another way of saying “tienes que…” or “debes…”? Is it related to the “it’s your turn” usage of “te toca”?
Comment from John
Thanks for the vocabularly Ben. I’ve got my ITV next month. Its a better system here but the driver does all the work! At least I passed my Pre-ITV inspection at the taller yesterday. Its worth 35 euros for a bit of confidence.
It could have been worse Ben, you could have had Leo in the back crying at the same time….
Comment from Ben
Ariane – glad you liked it! To see where we are going on holiday, check out this lesson here:
http://www.notesinspanish.com/?p=1502
Bug – Yes, ‘te toca’ in this case means ‘you’ll have to’. He could have said “tienes que…” as well, but that sounds more like an order, whereas ‘te toca… ‘ is a bit more like saying ‘the reality of the situation is… that you’ve got to go round and start again’. I hope that makes sense! Another example – if the tax dept gets my tax repayments wrong, Marina might say that I have to go to the local tax office to sort it out, in which case she might say “pues te toca ir a hacienda” – it’s just what has to be done!
Comment from Jennifer
Hola, Ben. Esto es muy interesante para mí, porque estoy aprendiendo a conducir este verano. ¡Gracias por el vocabulario ayudadoso!
Comment from Bridget
We can make an appointment at our ITV. There is a ‘phone in the office which connects automatically to the appointment making person. Much easier and not so much waiting around.
Comment from Linda
So, as an American I am trying to figure out what “dipped headlights” are: is that a UK expression? And I thought I spoke English!
Enjoyed the lesson and the comments.
Comment from Red
awesome, Ben! most favorite & interesting lesson yet!
Comment from Mike Harn
Hace muchos años, en el colegio durante un examen auditivo de español, la voz de la cinta me mandó ” Escriba unas palabras sobre la importancia en Madrid del Manzanares” Yo crei que dijo “manzanas” – pues escribí unas tonterías de comida sana, citando el refrán de mi madre, “tienes que comer una manzana cada día para que no le molestes al médico”…….. Metí la pata. Saqué malas notas. ¡Madre mía! Miguel
Comment from Ben
@Linda – it’s when your headlights point down instead of full beam!
@Red – thanks!
@Mike – ha ha, that’s a great story!
Comment from Jake Jolis
Ben–Test sounds crazy, but so happy you passed! Congrats! Realized I never properly said thank you for posting about us on your Facebook page. We’re getting more and more signups and things are really taking off!
Best,
Jake
Comment from Charita
Dear Ben: I have just recently come across your blog and as part of an online class assignment, and added it to my Google Reader list. I am sure that you didn’t intend for your post to be comical but I couldn’t help but chuckle through your description of your experience. I am really glad that everything worked out for you. If you don’t mind…I would like to ask your permission to share your site with my Spanish II students when the new school year begins I think it’s wonderful and useful. Thank you for all of the great vocabulary and terms.
Charita
Comment from Ben
Charita – That would be great, please do share the site with your students – lots of students already use our materials in class, so the more the better! I’m really glad you enjoyed this post so much!
Comment from Anna Preziosi
When I lived in Spain and had to go thru the car inspection I was nervous too at first, but I told them right up front, I am American, I am not a native speaker, if I ask you to repeat, please take no offense. From that moment on it went smoothly, they spoke more slowly, clearly and helped me if I did not understand. But yes, me daba mucho panico al principio!