Yesterday I (Ben) had to take our car for the annual Inspección Técnica de Vehículos (ITV – a bit like the British MOT), where they check the brakes, lights, chasis, seat belts etc are all road-worthy.

It’s a job I dread, mostly because it’s one of the last bastions of ‘really difficult real-life Spanish’ that I still feel very nervous about!

If I fail to get the Spanish instructions right as I take the car through the test, then maybe the car won’t get ‘passed’ at the end, and that means big car headaches just before we take it on holiday!

Things didn’t go well from the moment I arrived.

There were two queues, one for turismos de gasolina (petrol engines) and one for turismos de diesel (diesel vehicles) – and I only discovered I was in the wrong queue after I’d been lined up for an hour already in the 36ºC sun!

If I tried to jump over to the other lane for the right queue, I was going to get in big trouble with everyone in that queue – the Spanish really hate people that push in!

So I went to the pay desk and was told to find la chica de seguridad con el chaleco amarillo – the security girl with the yellow jacket.

She was nowhere to be seen. I fretted and sweated in the sun for 10 minutes until finally she appeared, and I explained my predicament.

“Mira yo aviso a todo el mundo cuando llegan,” – I tell everyone when they arrive – she said (not true! she was nowhere to be seen when I got there), “tendrás que hablar con alguien a ver si te dejan cambiarte,” you’ll have to speak so someone to see if they let you change lane.

A gap appeared in front of a car in the other lane as someone else moved forwards, and I asked the driver behind the gap if I could cross over and get in front of him.

No, he said, “te toca dar la vuelta y hacer la cola desde el principio otra vez,” – you’ll have to turn round and start the queue from the beginning again.

Which would mean losing the whole hour I’d been in the wrong queue! There were already about 20 new cars behind us in both lanes!

I tried a friendly looking woman in a Smart car a few cars back in the other lane, “perdona, es que me he equivocado de cola y tengo que cambiarme a este carril,” – Excuse me, I got the wrong queue and I have to change to this lane…”

“Vale,” – OK – she said, “¡Muy amable!” I replied, totally relieved! Whenever you want a favour in Spanish, it really pays to start with “Perdona, es que…”

Finally I got to the head of the queue, and the terrifying exam started!

It works like this: you sit in your car, and the ITV technician barks orders at you as he walks around the car checking everything works.

The vocabulary is highly test/car-specific, the noise in the warehouse is unbearable, and it’s almost impossible to hear what he’s saying!

As I said, I’m terrified that if I misunderstand his instructions, the car will fail and my 2 hour wait in line will have been for nothing!

Here are a few of the orders that came flying at me from all sides as the test progressed:

abre el capo – open the bonnet
luces de posición…. largas – dipped headlights, full beam
antinieblas – fog lights
pisa el freno – step on the brake
quita el freno de mano – release the handbrake
dale un poco de agua – squirt some water…
toca la bocina – sound the horn (I’d never heard the word ‘bocina‘ before, so had to take a guess at that one – lucky I got it right!)

It went on and on like this until finally he sent me on to stage two – even worse!

This involved listening to a guy who was underneath the car, giving me orders via a tiny, hissing loud speaker next to my drivers window:

Darle con el volante de un lado para otro – swing the steering wheel from one side to the other. Etc!

So how did we do?

At last I made it to the end of the test, and got the piece of paper with the crucial test results:

The Car: Resultado de la inspección: Favorable con defecto leve – escobillas defectuosas – The car passed the test, but with a minor infraction, worn out wiper blades…

Ben: Hecho polvo – totally worn out as well! … But I guess I passed the test too!

What’s the hardest ‘real life’ Spanish exam you’ve ever been through?

Related To This Post:

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Context

In our latest Spanish learning video (with real Spanish conversation followed by analysis in English!) Ben and Marina discuss the heat in Madrid, summer holiday plans, and what challenges they have lined up for the summer.

Vocab and phrases from the ‘Analysis’ section

¿Qué tal? – How are you?
…Muy bien – Fine
…Regular – So so/not great
…Estamos fatal - We are a complete mess
Todo el mundo tiene insomnio – Everyone has insomnia
El fin de semana que viene prometen 37 o 38 grados – This weekend we can expect 37 or 38 degrees
La fiesta de esta noche promete – I think it’s going to be a great party tonight
La fiesta promete – The party looks like it’s going to be really good
Vamos a viajar a la Selva Negra que me hace mucha ilusión – We are going to go down to the Black Forest which I’m really excited about
A mi me hace mucha ilusión pasar por Suiza – I’m really excited about going through Switzerland
Tienes algún reto para las vacaciones – Do you have any goals /challenges for the holidays?
Descansar y pasármelo bien – Relax and have a good time
Pásatelo bien – Have a good time
Bloc para esbozo – Sketch pad
Bloc – Notepad
Leeré a ratitos – I’m going to read in short bursts

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¡Hola!

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Ben y Marina

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Context

Ben and Marina take a trip to one of their favourite spots in Madrid, the Museo de Sorolla, the green city home of one of Spain’s least known, but most loved painters. Like our video from Monday on Spanish table manners, the second half includes key analysis in English again!

Vocab and phrases from the ‘Analysis’ section

En pleno centro (de Madrid) – Right in the middle (of Madrid)
Se desnudó en plena calle – He took his clothes off right in the middle of the street
Qué gozada – How fantastic
Qué gozada bañarte en el mar – What a joy to swim in the sea
Están hechos en estilo arabesco – They are made in the Moorish style
Le gustaba retratar escenas cotidianas – He liked to paint everyday scenes
En mi vida cotidiana – In my everyday life
Retratos – Portraits
Voy a pintar un retrato – I’m going to paint a portrait
Su obra era caracteristica por la luz y lo llaman el luminismo – His body of work was characteristic for its use of light, they call it ‘luminismo’

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